你说的喜欢，不是我要的爱

在每个人的心中，都会有个无可取代的人...而我，不例外也...

我还记得，那个他，曾经回转了一封爱的信息，信息上写着，回转的代表那人也喜欢你...我有问过他，是真的喜欢我吗？他说，是的...之后，在他去服兵的之前，他也说，他会时常记得我...而每次当他拿电话时，我总是有意无意地寄几封信息给他，让他能和我聊几句，这样心中才会踏实点...(可是，今天的他，没有在回我了...)

我对他，到底是什么感觉呢？也许，他只是比朋友更要好的朋友...又也许，我真得喜欢他...又也许，我根本是缺乏爱才会那么想的...不过，我有想过，如果有一天让我发现我彻底地爱上他了，我还会是那个为爱勇敢的莉薇吗？我的答案将没有疑问，因为那永远是改变不了的“不可能”...之所以，我很迷惑，常挣扎着，想着当初最初的梦想，念着过去我怀念的日子...现在的我，不可能接受任何一份爱情了，或许，也只有那个他，能救我吧...很可惜的是，他说的喜欢，不是我要的爱...

未来的日子还那么长，我不知道我会有没有机会去喜欢他，我也不知道他会不会和我有同样的感受，但是，我还可以肯定地是，候佳琛不会再喜欢我，我也不会再去要他喜欢我...因为他早已忘了我，而我也把他慢慢地从回忆里删除...而现在的他，我真的不确定， 因为他是不可能喜欢我的，因为在他的绯闻女友里，没有一个是我...而我，也应该不是他喜欢的那种...

我想着。如果他真的不喜欢我，就让一切化为乌有，烟消云散...因为我不想为了任何爱情，而去做改变，好让我能自己去迎合那爱情~~我只想做我自己，让我生命中的他，能爱上真正而不伪装的自己~~

可能吧，以上写的，都是多余的胡猜，不过我选择记下来，因为至少在n年后的某年某日某一天，我还会记得，我曾经对他有一丝丝的好感，就像当年的小学生涯，我对他的一点crush...不管那个他会否看过这篇文章，也不在乎最后“他”和哪个她共结联礼，但我还是希望，“他”能找到属于他自己的幸福...

++我决定了我的决定++

“不要再为爱情，停下我走向成功的步伐

今天不会，明天也绝对不行”

~$my life,my mind$~

If life is a journey, then surely the milestones along the way are the ppl we encounter who have an impact on us...i have had so many of these milestones along the way who left their indelible marks on my life.LIke oases in the desert,they hav refreshed me.comforted me and helped me discover myselg at the cruticial moment...hcs is one of my milestones...thanks a lot to you...without your presence, i could not believe that i can live alone without any man...

Love isn't how much you can get,

but how much you can give;

it's not about giving up,

but holding on;

not about how you say, 'I love you,'

but how you show it's true."

0221_dun cry over spilt milk

In my life, o221 seems to be something so important to me...do you know wat is 0221 meant by? o221 is a symbol of 02nd feb 2007...why it so significant to me? haha...mayb i think too much ady...haha...yesterday, u still called me at midnight...sorry coz i din pick up the phone...coz i know ur feeling...coz last time, i had been in the same boat v you...Little did i know i was no diffrencev you, coz i was about to embark on a journey tat would leave a scar in my memory, permanently...last night, i download a song by liang jin ru...named shu yu...i like it very much..
this song's lyrics is so meaningful...the song make me to apprehend something suddenly...it makes me understand tat he is no more belongs to me...wat am i still insisting on is worth or not?
wat do i belive in is whether truth or imagination??mayb i am too naive to hope one day i can meet him one more time...

属于

我坚持的 都值得坚持吗

我所相信的 就是真的吗

如果我敢追求 我就敢拥有吗

而如果 都算了 不要呢

或许吧 或许我永远都不会遇见他

或许吧 或许我太天真了吧

属于我的昨天之前的结局我决定我的决定

属于我的明天之后的憧憬我迷信我的迷信

属于我们点点滴滴的伤心我们要各自忘记

属于我们闪闪发亮的爱情我们再一起努力

属于风的 那就去飞翔吧

属于海洋的 那就汹涌的

属于我们的爱 该来的 就来吧

为什么 不敢呢 不要呢

是他吧 命中早就注定了的那个他

是他吧 他原来就在这里啊

或许，我的缺憾永远都无法完成，因为一切的一切，都是我自己决定的决定，

或许，我会相信在某个地方，会有某个他，那个会懂得我心里在想什么的那个他。。。

~心中的缺憾~

现在的我，心是平静的。我很喜欢，现在。反复的听着孙燕姿的‘我也很想他’， 虽然我没有歌词里述说的经验，可是我想，世界的某个角落，会有人那么经历过~~听着听着，回忆慢慢的盘旋在我脑海里~~

那是，2007年10月15日的深夜，你刚从补习回来，你说，我们真的很难在一起了。

我想说，至今，我还是觉得，那时的你，要说那样的话，是有那么多的狠下心。对不起，是我想说的。我还知道，那时的我，有多么的任性，总是不会在电话盖掉前告诉你我要说的那三个字，总是不轻易地伤害了你，你知道我骗了你，可是，你还是没说...其实，我都记得。我记得，那天你离去的背影。我恨我自己，不是因为让你从我生命中走过，而是因为，我曾经那么的伤害了你，让我们的回忆留在一道难以磨灭的疤痕~~那道疤痕的存在，是因为我们不能再做朋友了~~

其实，我真的不要有那样的遗憾。。。

虽然以前是要，

但现在，甚至以后，

我都不要，

可以吗？？

*BETTER SURE THAN SORRY*

NobOdy said anything.The soft night breeze came in through the windows...I was at the room all alone...Pondering that question u ask from me.i knew i had a problem but i had no idea how to handle it...i began to recall the day, at tat moment..

NO DOUBT.you are my old friend~~since the moment i had sent my answer to you, i had no more courage to face you...you even dun wan to replied my msg...i was so desperate as the time flies...until now, i still dun know if i had did the right decision...mayb one day, i would be regret...all i can do is, say sorry...

李雯章，对你，我真的佩服

well，my grandpa is LEE BOON CHONG...a respectful old man at the age of 73...

我阿公，庆丰的店主...那天，你说了一点你的小姑事，老实说，我真的很感动，也很佩服你那种不屈不挠的精神~~从小，你就是个背父子，当你瓜瓜坠地的时候，你就再也没有看到你爸爸了~~老天真的有点残忍，它的安排，让你这一世都没有父亲了...你的故事，就这样开始的~~

在回忆里，你是华人闰月出生的，而你的父亲，我祖公，是三月的~~我从妈咪的口中知道，你是在新加坡出世的，那时候，没有马来西亚，只有马来亚，那时新加坡还未和我们获得独立~~当你六岁时，你妈妈带着你和你姐姐， 来到了这里， 当时的你， 没有住在吧口~~

你说过，你曾在华南咖啡店做工，华南的楼上是当时的酒店，也算是那种花天酒地的地方...每天，你都是十点早晨起床，起来了，你就会叫一盘咖喱饭和一杯咖啡冰，慢慢品尝...你说，你很喜欢这样的吃法，不过就间接地造成你的胃病...

不久，你去了我阿妈爸的店打工，也是在那里，你认识了我的啊妈~~

过后，你来到了吧口做工，而那间店，现已不存在~~

多年已后，你自己开店，当起老板了~~而那间店，正是有五十年历史的庆丰~~

阿公啊，我知道，你这一生都活得很坎坷，不过，我想说， 在我这生中，让我最觉得骄傲的就是能有你这位爷爷~~您的慈祥，是最令我钦佩的~ 你从不要求要老天给你什么，只是默默地耕耘，哪怕是丝毫的抱怨你都没吭一声~~ 上面的故事，是我从你那里听来的， 经过我慢慢地拼凑， 才可以写上一点您的小故事~~或许，哪怕有一天， 您老人家怎样了，我还想告诉我的孩子，孙子你的故事，
您的坎坷~~你也常教我们做人要追远，就像小娘惹中的意思一样~~阿公，对你，我真的很佩服***

这只猫。是你最喜欢的宠物， 它很可爱， 而你，也很疼它

Sad valentine's day

cRy

I'm not the type to get my heart broken

I'm not the type to get upset and cry

Cuz I never leave my heart open

Never hurts me to say goodbye
Relationships don't get deep to me

Never got the whole in love thing

And someone can say they love me truly

But at the time it didn't mean a thing

Per-chorus:

My mind is gone, i'm spinning round

And deep inside, my tears i'll drown

I'm losing grip, what's happening

I stray from love, this is how I feel

chorus:

This time was different

Felt like, I was just a victim

And it cut me like a knife

When you walked out of my life

Now i'm, in this condition

And i've, got all the symptoms

Of a girl with a broken heart

But no matter what you'll never see me cry

Did it happen when we first kissed

Cause it's hurting me to let it go

Maybe cause we spent so much time

And I know that it's no more

I shoulda never let you hold me baby

Maybe why i'm sad to see us apart

I didn't give to you on purpose

Gotta figure out how you stole my heart

How did I get here with you, i'll never know

I never meant to let it get so, personal

After all I tried to do, stay away from loving you

I'm broken hearted, I can't let you know

And I won't let it show

You won't see me cry

All my life...

today is the Valentine's day....and aso solo's day
deep inside my heartcore,

all i can feel is loneliness...

p/s:

Find a guy who calls you beautiful instead of hot, who calls you back when you hang up on him, who will lie under the stars and listen to your heartbeat, or will stay awake just to watch you sleep... wait for the boy who kisses your forehead, who wants to show you off to the world when you are in sweats, who holds your hand in front of his friends, who thinks you' re just as pretty without makeup on. One who is constantly reminding you of how much he cares and how lucky he is to have YOU... The one who turns to his friends and says, thats her...

*I thought I'd forget you, but I guess I forgot to*

BETTER IN TIME

It's been the longest winter without you

I didn't know where to turn to

See somehow I can't forget youA

fter all that we've been through

Going coming thought I heard a knock

Who's there no one

Thinking that I deserve it

Now I realize that

I really didn't know

If you didn't notice you mean everything

Quickly I'm learning to love again

All I know is I'mma be ok
Thought I couldn't live without you

It's gonna hurt when it heals tooI

t'll all get better in time

Even though I really love you

I'm gonna smile cause I deserve to

It'll all get better in time

I couldn't turn on the TV

Without something there to remind me

Was it all that easy

To just put aside your feelings

If I'm dreaming don't wanna laugh
Hurt my feelings but that's the path

I'll believe in

And I know time will heal itI

f you didn't notice boy you mean everything

Quickly I'm learning to love againAll I know is I'mma be ok

As i was listening to this nice love song...i know i was missing you...tried to recall ur face...ur lips and aso ur smile...WAS IT ALL TAT EASY? no, absolutely not...it needed time...needed courage...but i am so lucky coz i will not be ur lifetime partner...even though since there's no more u and me, and cant be ur friend anymore, but i still can be a happy-go-lucky gal...I know time will lend me a helping hand to heal it...hahaha....

Days continue to pass,

stars continue to shine.

Why do I have tears in my eyes today when he was NEVER

mine?"

Nothg can assure permanent hapiness

A few minutes ago....i was sitting in front of the screen of the monitor...i clicked to tat man's friendster...at the moment,i was so regret for my stupid action...all i had seen was a MEANINGFUL sentences...it was "Jasmine Khoo Is Just Mine"...wakao...all i could ask was why i was acting so foolishly...i know i would be hurt,i know i would started to sob, i aso know the tear would blurred my vision...so,the later moment, i kept on asking 2 myself.." y i did it?y did i point to his profile but not other's?and of course, neither i am his gf,nor his friend..y am i so stupid doing such stupid things.?<..he is no more my romeo,and i am not her juliet>

Obviously, i looked astonished at this news...no, it is no a kind of news but it is juz a nature fact tat i cant accept till now....To me, that fact is so rejectable...but, wat can i do??i dun wan to asperse his reputation of telling others tat he is juz a playboy...i can juz envied the gal whom he loved a lot...juz becoz some ppl have more capacity for hapiness than us...i will take the rough with smooth...i hope 4 one day,the day i will totally forget him...Tat day, is the day tat i found my mr.sureright....

Don't let someone become your everything,

because when they're gone,

you have nothing!

就差那么一点，一点点~~

又再恋上那首无可取代了，我的心好舒坦，好安...哈哈，昨天晚上，顺说以后如果我晚上睡不着都可以找他，我多问了一句：“如果有了女朋友呢？”他回应的信息很短，但我很满足〉〉〉信息上写的是， 我会回你，因为你是最特别的~~那时的我， 感觉到，心是微微地跳着，甜在心头~~知道事实证明了什么吗？答案是：我是个常被遗忘的人，最连我自己也时常忽略了自己， 甚至是自己的感觉~~

最近的我，喜欢放纵自己，看了三四本的小说，有佐贺啊妈，有九把刀著名的那些年，我们一起追的女孩还有打喷嚏，还有一本是令我十分感触的我们不结婚，好吗？

最近的我，真的好像变了~~我不怕我的变，反而觉得是件好事~~稳重，缄默，是我达到的性格~~还有最重要的是自己要经过大脑后才说话~不想得罪任何人，哈哈，或许会有人觉得很好笑， 为什么会有人要做个安静的人？

其实，我以前是个常常怨别人的人，我总觉得自己很完美，但是，在一场恶梦惊醒后，我知道，我不能那么有自信了~~因为，过于自信是种生活中的绊脚石~~而我，不要我自己绊倒~

- 薇559 -